don’t read this haha
I was raped by four men in one evening. I got drunk and tried to say no. What did my predators do? They told me to drink more. They shoved a bottle in my face and told me to keep drinking. Drink till I was drunk enough to fuck them. I blacked out. They urinated on me. They assaulted me. They shoved foreign objects in my body, anally and vaginally. They took videos. I was just 16 years old. The video was sent around my entire school, and I was bullied every single day of my senior year of high school. I lost all of my friends. I was physically and verbally abused by peers and people I once called friends. Someone tried to set me on fire in the hallway during passing period. Nobody sympathized with me. Nobody cared about the fact that because of these events, I was trying to kill myself every single day. I was cutting myself, making myself puke, showering upwards of fifteen times a day because I felt filthy. I was scratching and peeling the skin off of my body because I was dirty. I looked at myself like I deserved what I got. The world saw me as dirty, so I began to see myself that way, too. My rapists were praised by my peers for their deed. I never had a voice. When I first learned about the Steubenville incident going to trial, I was overjoyed. Because Jane Doe’s story was my story, and if anyone deserved justice, it was her. She would get the justice I never got. She would change the tide of the rape culture movement. Despite the horrific events that occurred, I knew that the justice served would help ease her pain. But she didn’t get justice, and now she has to witness this news coverage, favoring and sympathizing with her attackers. Pain is not an accurate word to describe what she is feeling right now. Pain is the simplest term you could use. As a rape victim and an aspiring journalist, I am disgusted with the way this case was reported on. Jane Doe’s rapists deserve their suffering in prison. They deserve more. They do not deserve to be sympathized with. They made their stupid decision, and they deserve whatever consequences come their way. If you don’t want to be labeled as a rapist, don’t fucking rape.
Suppose a man makes unwanted social advances to a woman in, let’s say, a restaurant or theatre, and she eventually has to tell him loudly or angrily to get lost. She is the one who will be perceived as rude, hostile, aggressive, and obnoxious. His verbal aggression and invasiveness are accepted and expected; her rudeness (or mere curtness) in getting rid of him is noticed and condemned. One of our great myths is that a “real lady” can and should handle any difficulty, defuse any assault, without ever raising her voice or losing her manners. Female rudeness or violence in resistance to male aggression has often been taken to prove that the woman was not a lady in the first place, and therefore deserved no respect from the aggressor or sympathy from others.
So I just need to get this off my chest:
For me David Kawena from Lilo and Stitch is the ultimate Disney prince because he is there for Nani AND Lilo and even Stitch despite everything that’s going on in their lives. They’re going through some tough stuff. Their parents die and all of the sudden Nani has to be a mom to her sister who is socially awkward and depressed and that’s hard enough as it is and then she gets her this ‘dog’ and everything gets harder and even though she can’t return David’s feelings he’s still there for them through everything. Even aliens. He’s amazing. I was watching Lilo and Stitch with my niece the other day and I cried watching David go through it all. He is the perfect guy. Like I just get emotional thinking about him.
Imagine if you had someone like David in your life - male or female. You would feel like a prince/princess even if you were living with next to nothing.
David is the ultimate Disney prince - even though he isn’t a Disney prince. He should be considered one.
Disney rant - over.
Also, this is an example of a dude who, yes, has a crush on his female friend but ISN’T a ‘Nice Guy’.
Bolded by LP.
Here’s why I personally love David:
Right after the four of them go surfing and Lilo almost drowns, there’s a heartbreaking scene where Bubbles informs Nani that he’ll be taking Lilo into foster care in the morning. With Stitch at his feet, David watches Nani walk off with Lilo, knowing that she’s going off to tell her sister the reality of their situation. He mutters something to the effect of, “everything was fine until you came along”.
The context of the scene is such that Stitch believes David is talking to him (Stitch is one of our two POV characters, and the camera angle is from Stitch’s POV). But David doesn’t know that Stitch isn’t a dog, and he’s never shown any inclination to talk to Stitch before this moment. He doesn’t even look at Stitch when he says those words, either.
Meaning it’s most likely that David is talking to himself at this moment. That David believes Nani was managing just fine in taking care of her sister until he came into the picture, and distracted her from what she should’ve been focusing on (which, if you recall, was the reason Nani told him she couldn’t go out with him in the first place). He blames himself for Lilo being taken by the state, for Nani losing what little she had left, when she’d already lost so much. In David’s mind, because he loved her, Nani lost everything.
So what does that beautiful little unicorn do?
He goes out and finds her a job. The one thing he knows Nani needs to keep Lilo, the one thing she couldn’t do on her own, the one thing she’d given up as impossible. And he does it because he feels that he has done her wrong, that this is something he needs to set right, and because she demonstrably can’t do it for herself, but also because he needs to prove to himself just as much as her that his love doesn’t break families, but make them.
David’s young. Maybe he’s kinda dumb. Maybe he coasts by on his good looks and charm. Maybe he runs from responsibility, and maybe he blames himself for all the wrong things. And maybe he’s broken, just as much as Nani and Lilo and Stitch are. But he’s also kind and patient, and generous with what few possessions he has; and he’s warm and devoted and hopelessly yet realistically in love with Nani in a way that few Disney princes ever are. And when he and Nani get together in the end, it doesn’t feel like some sweeping fairytale romance but like a family reunion; like two ducklings crying out, I’m lost, and finding each other at last.
I have a lot of Lilo and Stitch feels ok
Here is the thing, okay? Coming into a feminist conversation with, “Have you considered that sometimes women acquire free drinks at bars?” is like walking into graduate school during Philosophy finals and saying, “Have you considered that the color blue that I see may not be the color blue that you see?”
Imagine you are the guy who just walked into that Philosophy class and laid that shit down. Imagine the class full of students who have worked very hard and committed themselves and sacrificed to be here, students who have spent several years of their lives learning about this subject. Imagine now their feelings when you go to the head of the classroom with a smirk on your face and demand the professor give you an A for effort. Imagine now that they think you are a douchebag asshole, because they do, and because you are. You are a douchebag asshole because you are obviously so self-centered, arrogant, and completely ignorant of the world around you, that you thought you could walk into a high-level course with no background and no work and say something profoundly simplistic and totally unrelated and also everybody should congratulate you for having done this thing, so brave, so provocative.
You are not asking us a real question. You are simply illustrating, for all to see, your own ignorance. You are saying, “I have not considered the implications of the question I have just asked. I have not taken the time nor effort nor commitment to sit down and ask myself this question. Instead, I have come into your philosophy classroom/office/feminist blog and shat out my question with a smirk, because I believe that my two seconds of thought are worth more than your long-term analysis, because I believe I am worth more.”
And for the record: women getting free drinks at bars enables rape culture.
the perks of being a wall
my current net gain is in my butt